I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
