STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
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