so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
