Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
