totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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