There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
