now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
