I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
her vagine was all disorganized.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
