yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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