Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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