It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
