I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
