we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
