You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
