1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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