He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
