"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
