um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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