Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
