Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
Hello my rib-scented angel!
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
