Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
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