hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
