im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
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