dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
