So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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