I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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