When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize
