I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
