Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize