May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
