come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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