Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize
