Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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