ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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