I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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