I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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