I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I know her cup size but not her name....
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