Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
