i permit you to call me
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
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