So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
