i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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