Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize
