opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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