i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
