this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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