Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
