Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Randomize
