he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
