Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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