question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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