Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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