the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
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