God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
