Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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