I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Randomize