Need sex. Gaining weight.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
