I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
