My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize