Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
