i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
