let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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