I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
This girl is more easily done than said...
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
