Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
