Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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