Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
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