This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
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