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Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
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