What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Randomize
