I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
