she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
