I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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