my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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