everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Randomize
