When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Randomize