Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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