Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
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