I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
