Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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