are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
