There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I wear drunk well.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
